Here I sit on the couch. It’s another Tuesday and my son goes in for his session. He always runs in first and locks the door. A game he and Mr. John have been playing for years. Mr. John mustn’t forget his keys, else he must try to remember where the spare is hidden. This incident has happened not more than a few times, hardly countable on three fingers.
Some occasions mr. John will chat with me on the goings on in Jacks life. School, outburst or anything out of the normal. For an autistic child, everything is normal now. If somethings occurs suddenly, adjustments are made so quickly they are hardly noticed.
During these little one on ones, I am usually begging my soul to stay awake. The big comfy couch calls me for our session. Not only do we get these short pages done, but we can take a short power nap together. So as he gives me diagnosis for the dear boy, my head bobs in agreement. Then he goes ok we’ll see you in a bit. Okey dokey.
Personally over the past year or so, I have been transforming my body mind and soul. Smoking and drinking are in the distance. No I don’t want you no mas! I had then discovered I was becoming a big fatso and that was a big no no. So right now I am working that out. I even plan on runni g a marathon. Yea! For me!
That story is all about me and I am feeling good. I even go to church on Sunday.
But everything else is the same around me. I have to face the face of the unchangable everyday. Throw support to a brick wall that stands defiantly.
Dang my lids are closing.
I have no one to talk to. This couch and my thumbs are explaining as much as they can before I fall asleep. It’s so lonely.
So today I thought I try something. I’d throw a few things at Mr. John just to feel him out.